I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize