Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
