At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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