This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
