last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
