I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
