that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
