check it out our google latitudes are spooning
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Randomize
