so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
