then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
