just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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