Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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