Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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