I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
