also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
