I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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