I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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