not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
The adults are the big ones right?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
