I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
