I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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