love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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