He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
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woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
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Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.