Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.