plz talk dirty to me
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me