I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...