Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
My vagina just recognized that song.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
