What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
