i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
