stop calling my apartment porn island.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
