you guys were way drunker than both of me
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
