So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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