dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
