Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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