Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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