I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just had sex on a roof
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
