I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
