how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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