I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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