So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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