he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize