He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
