The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
