Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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