I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
