You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
