I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize