Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
