I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
