This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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