doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
