Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
