i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
