did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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