Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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