My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
