$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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