I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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