i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
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