Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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