he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
