My nipple is on Facebook.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
