Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
there was a trapeze. enough said
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
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A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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