idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
