He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
