I hope mine doesn't look like that
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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