Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
